Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Break Time, Ilina's Confession, the real Adorkable Nymph

here is a Confession to the Truth behind Ilina and Tim, Anthony Lane gave me the courage to share this truth

Ilina is a Persona, a Role, played by an ameteur kabuki actor of sorts

i always wanted a little sister when i was younger, so in my head, i fabricated the ideal little sister in my head and well, created several candidates for little sisters i would also be willing to accept. hence me roleplaying the Aniri family as early as 1996 when i was around 7 years old and even conceiving them when i was 5 or 6.

the Aniri family were the first imaginary friends to have a positive effect on my life and sanity in a world where others would get me in trouble.

i was raised mostly around women with no real male influence, my mother, grandmother and cousin. because of this, i always joined them on girl's nights out and felt like one of the girls. which made me very uncomfortable with my body and my Y chromosone

i turned to roleplaying, because i could channel my inner self through the persona of my fabricated imaginary little sister figures.

my Drama Teacher used to defend me for it, saying it was normal in historical theatre for males to play female roles.

and well, i am horribly ashamed of my body, so i use the childhood photography trauma as an excuse to cover up the truth of being ashamed of my body. even though i think Anthony Lane, Ladybeard, and Various other male crossdressers as well as many other Transexual friends i have on Various sites are Adorable.

i hope this doesn't change your opinion of me and you still see me as the sweet and supportive legal loli who will provide emotional support in times of need. my biggest reason for pretending to be married, was to avoid questioning, and to avoid relationships while i hid myself behind a persona to provide myself the courage to channel my inner effeminate self.

i know how it is common for Trans individuals to fear judgement, and at the same time, the reason i pretend to be mute, is because it is part of the persona, to retain the role.

i cannot bring myself to speak in person, and still seek permission to use the Ilina Selene Hawkins-Young persona for courage. because i promise to be the finest little sister i can, because at my core, i am one big imoutocon, faeriecon and lolicon.

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